Who is your Dream Team?

Dear Applied EQ-ers,

Who is your Dream Team?

When I worked with educators this summer, I noticed a common theme no matter what school or state we were visiting: teachers and administrators are often more comfortable talking about students’ emotional needs than they are their own. We spend half of our training on adult SEL before moving on to student SEL, and I can feel some educators get frustrated during the first half. There was this sense of “Just tell me how to meet students’ needs. Why are we wasting time on ourselves?”

I could definitely empathize with their frustration. I remember sitting in August Inservice training, and feeling my anxiety rise as I made my classroom to-do list in preparation for students’ return. In my mind, I needed to get everything done on my list before I could even think about being present and engaging in professional development. Just leave me alone and let me work in my classroom! was the soundtrack playing constantly in the background of my mind.

What I didn’t realize at the time was there was no end to my to-do list.

There was no magical moment where I would be so on top of everything that I could relax and lean into PD training. It never occurred to me that by putting everyone else’s needs on my to-do list without even considering my own, I was actually doing harm to myself and limiting my ability to serve those who depended on me. I didn’t realize I could not be a reliable caregiver to others without getting care for myself.

This idea has been most popularly framed to educators as “self care.” When I was teaching, the idea of self care made me angry. It made me feel like just one more thing I didn’t have time to do--yet another way I felt I was failing.

So I’m not going to preach to you about self care. This is the time when the school year gets real, and I know you don’t have time. Instead, I’d like you to put caring for you on the lists of the people who love you. I want you to assemble a dream team!

Part of our EQ-uipped Classroom training for teachers includes strategies for anticipating and coping with stress, and the best way to deal with stress is to get connected. Since October is a big time teacher burnout month, it might be helpful to assemble your dream team now before entering the crucible that is teaching between October and fall and winter break.

So what is a dream team? These are four roles from Carl Jung’s archetypes that can help support us as we navigate stressful seasons:

My Caregiver, who will always nurture me, is…

My Sage, who will offer me guidance, is…

My Hero, who will always demand greatness from me, is…

My Everyman, with whom I will always feel connected and comfortable, is…

One of the most common questions we get from teachers during this training is, “What if I don’t have anyone on my dream team?”

That question twinges in my heart every time. Teachers, who pour themselves out for others everyday, telling me, “No one does these things for me. No one has ever done these things for me.”

Educators often play dream team roles for other people but may not have experienced having a dream team themselves, especially when it comes to the role of caregiver.

But you matter too. You deserve care.

You are more than just what you do for other people.

You, too, are a burden worth carrying.

Where does land for you today?

Do you already have your dream team assembled and ready to go, or could you use a little recruiting to beef up your team before heading into October?

Wherever you land today, I hope this newsletter can be a place where you feel a little loved on and cared for each week. Let me know what you need in the comment section or at Elizabeth@appliedeqgroup.com. I would love to hear from you :)

Would you like professional development training to EQ-uip your classroom? Let’s connect.

Applying EQ with you, Elizabeth Eason Martin