Are you more introverted or extroverted?
Dear Applied EQ-ers,
When we partner to EQ-uip schools, one of the first things we do is have leaders and teachers in the district take the EASEL. This helps the adults on campus grow in self-awareness, so they are better EQ-uipped to navigate the complex emotional landscape of schools.
The first component of the EASEL is OCEAN (I know, so many acronyms!) which places you on a continuum on the Big Five traits of personality, the most statistically validated personality framework.
The E in OCEAN is for Extroversion. How extroverted/introverted are you? So this is about whether or not you prefer solitude or loud, busy spaces. Oftentimes, I’ll hear people confuse extroversion with being outgoing and introversion with being shy. However, shyness has more to do with fear of judgement than with introversion. Being aware of your extroversion tells you more about how you refuel. Do you need more time alone or more time in community?
I love talking about extroversion with teachers because differences in this personality trait can cause conflict in relationships, which always makes for interesting conversation.
For example, let’s say you have one colleague on your team who won’t participate in your team’s group lunches. Is she a stick-in-the-mud, or does she just need a quiet lunch to refuel before another class of students comes bustling into her classroom? Maybe she likes her team but just needs the solitude to replenish her energy for students. If she doesn’t know how to communicate this need to her team, they might make assumptions and see her choice as a rejection.
Or maybe you have a leader in your school who is so extroverted that he unintentionally dominates the discussion in faculty meetings and doesn’t leave room for quieter faculty to share their input, missing out on hearing valuable perspectives. If he doesn’t let his faculty know about this aspect of his personality and welcome everyone’s input, it will limit that school’s potential.
This can also cause misunderstandings between teachers and students.
School tends to be more biased towards extroverted students. I remember having a parent once ask me and my colleagues to broaden our feedback about her daughter in conferences. Her daughter was incredibly introverted and even though she made stellar grades and was deeply thoughtful and gifted, she barely spoke at school. Everyone of her teachers, including me, mentioned her quietness in class as cause for concern even though it had almost no impact on her academic performance.
It wasn’t until this parent brought to light this blind spot of mine as an extroverted teacher that I began to question whether this was really a necessary area of growth for this student, or just a difference in our personalities. This child was brilliant, and she had a rich inner life and close relationships with her family and few trusted friends. So really I was the issue. As an extrovert who was at the time still pretty emotionally immature, I unconsciously thought that my more gregarious way of being was superior. The student didn’t need to change; I needed to become more self-aware.
Where does this land for you today?
What do you need as an introvert or extrovert? Do the people around you know this about you?
What do the people in your life need? More “I” time? More time in community?
How do you think your introverted students experience your classroom or school?
Do you want to take the EASEL? We would love to connect with you. :)
Applying EQ with you, Elizabeth Eason Martin
