What is my hero's journey?

Dear EQuipped Leaders,

Good morning, fellow EQ travelers! You’re back again, applying EQ with me. I’m so grateful. What all had to happen for us to be able to meet here today? Thank you for showing up for yourself and for the kids in your care. I’m glad you’re here.

How are you? What’s a high from your day? What’s a low? My family and I have started going around the table and sharing a high/low from our day at dinner. I’m shocked at how much better I feel sharing this and how much better I can see and empathize with my husband and son when I know what they’re enjoying and what they’re struggling with. Sometimes my son wants to skip the low thing and says he only has “good things” to share. Don’t we all wish we could skip the low things? Pretend they aren’t there. Only share the good things, the light things, the palatable and easy things, the things that people want to hear from us.

But that’s not the deal. No matter how good things are going, there’s always some low things. Some painful things. Some hurtful things. Some confusing things. The more I can accept that, the more I’m able to enjoy the good things. The more I make room for all of it.

Part of this EQ journey for me has been learning to treat who I am and what happens to me as if it matters, because it does. That sounds obvious, but I have not always treated myself as if my experience matters, as if I matter. But my experience does matter. I do matter, so I want to live that way.

One thing that makes this journey less lonely and more meaningful for me, is reflecting on my struggles through the lens of Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey:

I love learning about this cycle and using it as a frame for whatever area of struggle/growth I’m currently facing. It also helps normalize for me that dealing with hard things doesn’t mean I’m failing. It means I’m growing even though it doesn’t usually feel that glamorous in the moment. It’s easy to take myself for granted. To take my struggles for granted. But that diminishes me and my experience. I’m here. I’m alive. This is my journey. How much meaning do I want to give it?

Every August, I taught the Hero’s Journey to my middle school and high school students on the first day of school. I showed the video above, and we talked about the start of a new school year as a call to adventure. I wanted to help EQuip them, to teach them it’s okay if you’re struggling. This journey of school you are on is hard. To teach them it’s okay to be scared and unsure. Everyone, even the most epic heroes, is just figuring it out, stumbling through and mostly screwing up.

But as I keep learning over and over again, if I want to teach something, I have to live it myself. I need to offer myself more kindness where I’m still stuck and struggling on my own journey. I need to practice what I preach. For me right now, that means hanging back a bit. I’ve tried to chase down my call to adventure instead of being able to recognize it and accept it when it comes. I’m trying to let my journey unfold instead of forcing it the direction I think it should take. I’m trying to be where I am. Be who I am. Be. That’s what my journey looks like today.

What about you? Where are you on your own hero’s journey? Which part of this cycle are you working right now? What hero’s journey will you be embarking on this August?

Who you are matters. Your story and journey matters. Your struggle matters. So when you reflect on your High/Low of the day, enjoy what’s going well but please don’t skip over and dismiss what’s hard. Those are the best parts. The human, humbling, hero-making parts.

Are you ready to embark on your EQ journey? We have a lovely team of wise mentors to help you on your journey. If it feels right for you, I’d love to invite you to…

Accept this call to adventure!

Better EQuipped Together, Elizabeth