"Why are we doing what we're doing?"

Dear EQuipped Leaders,

It’s July. It’s hot and summer is winding down. What’s going on for you? What’s going on within you?

The phrase that rises up in me is: Ready or not, here August comes.

As a teacher’s kid, a very enthusiastic student, and then a teacher myself, August has always held a lot of meaning for me. It feels like the beginning of the year to me more than January because my world has always revolved around school.

I’m going into this August a little differently. Instead of a student or teacher myself, I’m in two very different leadership roles in relationship to school:

Personally: The parent of a kindergartener.

Professionally: The presenter to teachers.

So instead of readying my own classroom, I’m preparing to send my son off to his big school classroom.

Instead of sitting in inservice myself, stressed and overwhelmed with my growing to-do list, I’ll be the one presenting.

When I think about my two leadership roles this coming August, a mixture of feelings rises up:

Excitement for school supplies and new beginnings and new communities.

Fear of uncertainty of what’s to come and a well-intentioned but unhelpful desire to prepare for things I can’t control.

When all this rises up, I try to take a deep breath and come back to the present moment. Be where I am instead of projecting into the future. But I have a busy brain, and I know it’s going to keep reaching forward whether I want it to or not, so I want to try to ground down with my Why today.

The concept of a calling and tapping into our Why is an important theme in The Applied EQ Group.

I want to be an EQuipped Leader in both my personal and professional roles. I want to think about what I value and how I want to show up as a leader. I’m learning more and more that if I want to show up a certain way, that takes intention.

So how do I want to show up?

What is my Why?

Why am I here doing what I’m doing?

As a parent, I want to show up as a sturdy leader for my son. I want to invite and instruct emotion for him. I want to make space for all his feelings as he navigates a new school, world, set of challenges. I want him to feel free to express whatever he is dealing with, AND I want to give him what he needs to work through any struggles. I want to empower him, fill his cup, so he can face the challenges of being a kindergartener. I want to extend security to him: it’s okay even when you’re not feeling okay. I will be here to walk through the tunnel with you. You can make it to the other side and you can feel all your feelings along the way.

So that’s too many words. I’m going to condense that soup of words and feelings down to this:

I want to be a kind and sturdy leader for my son this August. I want to empathize with his feelings and empower him through his challenges.

As a presenter to teachers, I want to show up as a life-giving resource. I feel so much pressure not to waste teachers’ time. I know firsthand how intense August inservice is and how much anxiety is flying around a school system. I want to be mindful of my own nervous system and my own anxiety that I’ll be carrying into the space. I guess now that I reflect on it, I’m really wanting to show up for this group of teachers the same way I am for my son: create space for whatever they’re feeling and going through, and provide encouragement and empowerment. In this particular presentation, I get to present on stress. Now that I think about it, the two things that I know the most about from life experience are 1) being a teacher and 2) being stressed out.

So let me try to distill that down:

I want to be a sturdy and encouraging presenter to teachers this August. I want to honor all they carry for their communities and empower them with practical tools.

I want to show up as an EQuipped Leader in both of these important roles. Reflecting on my Why, brings into focus how important both of these roles are to me. I think I can often diminish myself and what I’m doing, “Oh it doesn’t matter.” “It’s not that big of a deal.” But all of this does matter and is a big deal to me. And it is a big deal to the people counting on me.

When I give myself space to think about my bigger Why instead of all the tasks associated with these roles, I find a deeper sturdiness within myself. This matters, and I know what I want to do. I know who I want to be.