How quickly do I become emotionally aroused?
Dear EQuipped Leaders,
Hi! Are you ready to level up your self-awareness a few more notches?!?
Today, I want to talk about neuroticism, the 5th component of the Big 5 personality framework, and part of our EASEL (Educator Assessment of Social and Emotional Learning).
So what is neuroticism?
The neuroticism scale measures the tendency to be prone to psychological stress and to experience unpleasant emotions easily. The closer to 5 you score on this scale, the more likely you are to be described as a worrier who is prone to emotional vacillation. The closer to 1 you score on this scale, the more likely you are to be described as able to manage stressful situations without emotional arousal and as being emotionally resilient.
I did an EASEL 360, so two of my colleagues and my husband took assessments on my personality. Yeah, it was a little intense, like self-awareness boot camp!
Here is where everyone landed on my level of neuroticism:
The black dot is my assessment result. The other 3 dots are anonymous.
However, I (of course!) can’t help but wonder which dot is my husband and which dots are my colleagues. My guess is that the green dot that landed slightly higher up the neurotic scale than my own dot, is my husband. Because if anything is going to expose one’s true neuroticism, it’s marriage. :)
Anyway, I’m in the middle of the scale.
When I first took the EASEL a year ago, I wasn’t fully honest with myself and my colleagues about my neuroticism. I even remember commenting during one of our work retreats that I was proud of my current neuroticism score because it ranked closer to 2.
I’m not a 2 on the neuroticism scale. I’m a 3, but I was less honest with myself a year ago.
We teach about personality as climate and emotions as weather. I am, and have always been, and will likely always be a 3 on the neuroticism scale. That’s my climate. What I’m learning is that if I’m more honest and accepting of that, I can embrace my neurotic 3-ness and enjoy the strengths that come with it instead of pretending I’m someone I’m not.
My comment at that work retreat revealed my bias as high on the neuroticism scale as bad and low on the neuroticism scale as good. I had such a strong unconscious bias towards that word.
I see it differently now.
The truth is being neurotic has its strengths:
Potential Strengths:
➢ (High Score) Alert, mindful of surroundings, and rarely caught off guard; potentially able to thrive in chaotic energy; concerned and attentive when needs arise.
I think being higher up on the neuroticism scale has made me a better writer and has definitely motivated my interest in Emotional Intelligence. It also made me more aware of my students’ needs as a teacher.
The weaknesses of being more neurotic also ring very true for me:
Potential Weaknesses:
➢ (High Score) May over commit or over control due to hyper-arousal/hyper-vigilance; prone to physical illness due to chronic worry and anxiety.
I have always struggled with hyper-vigilance. I saw this as a teacher on school breaks. Every vacation, I finally let down my guard, and I would get sick. I didn’t know how to regulate my emotions or build up my resilience to stress, so I would lose my vacation time to physical illness.
Now I’m better EQuipped. Instead of trying NOT to be neurotic and NOT feel all my big feelings, I’m allowed to feel them and then apply all the tools I’ve learned to regulate them. It feels like such a gift. Instead of wasting all that energy trying to be someone I’m not, I can enjoy this aspect of my personality.
Where does this land for you today?
Where do you land on the neuroticism scale?
If you’re a high score, try asking yourself, “Am I the only one who perceives this situation as urgent?”
If you’re a low score, try asking yourself, “Am I expressing an appropriate level of concern and empathy?
Want to take the EASEL and grow in Self-Awareness? We can EQuip you! Let’s connect.
Better EQuipped Together, Elizabeth Eason Martin
Email me at elizabeth@appliedeqgroup.com with any feedback or questions. :)