How do I like to receive appreciation?

Dear EQuipped Leaders,

Hello there and happy Teacher Appreciation week!

How are you feeling? What does this upcoming week look like for you? How would you like to be appreciated?

When I think back on my decade of teaching and all the different ways students and parents tried to show me love during teacher appreciation week, one memory jumps out as my favorite. I came back to my classroom after lunch one exhausting teaching day in May, and I was surprised to find my entire desk’s surface completely covered in diet cokes. The cans filled every corner, and it was a massive desk, so it was a truly absurd number of diet cokes. My tenth grade English class had snuck in during the lunch period to covertly prank me with my favorite beverage.

I’m surprised this came up as my favorite “being appreciated as a teacher” memory, but the more I reflect on it, the more it makes sense why this act of kindness/mischievousness has a special place in my teacher heart.

The ringleader of the operation was a very confident sophomore boy, a kid whom I bumped heads with often. He and I had to work through a lot of conflict throughout the school year. He was the kid I most often sent out into the hallway during class for a 1-on-1 debrief of whatever power struggle he was trying to hook me into that day. As was often the case, the kid who drove me the craziest and caused me the most frustration ended up being one of my most beloved students by the end of the school year. He grew so much and so did I, and the conflict we went through strengthened the rapport we eventually built together. One of my favorite aspects of teaching is how annoyed and judgemental I could be about a student at the beginning of the year, and then once I read their writing, and saw their struggles, and worked with them each day, it was so easy to love them. Those are the students who pushed me to grow.

In addition to the ringleader history, the specificity of the gift/prank also really moved me. I was (like many teachers I know and love) super addicted to diet coke. The fact that this 10th grade English class used something so personal to me was really thoughtful. I also enjoyed being seen and appreciated for a not-as-great part of my personality. I’d spent my whole life trying to earn love through my achievements and strengths. I think it felt really good to me to be seen for one of my weaknesses and loved as the flawed, aspartame addicted human I was.

They also knew I hated pranks. I went on long diatribes each spring about how mad senior pranks made me, so this group was determined to pull a prank on me that I’d actually like. It was a bold move, and it could have gone sideways. But ultimately they were right and successfully convinced me that maybe there was such a thing as a kind prank. I felt equal parts loved and annoyed.

What’s your favorite memory of being appreciated? Of being seen and loved on?

Showing and receiving appreciation can be tricky. When you are a teacher, and you give and give so much, it can sometimes be hard to reflect on all you’ve given. Sometimes the attempts at appreciation fall flat or seem trite in light of all you’ve done for these kids.

I am now coming at this week from a different angle, as I brainstorm with my fellow PAC parents at my kid’s preschool to come up with the perfect mix of breakfast tacos, giftcards, flowers, and sweets to show our appreciation to our kids’ teachers. My son is about to graduate from this school as a 5 year-old, and he started there when he was 18 months old. These teachers have quite literally helped my husband and I raise our son. How do we show our appreciation for that? Nothing seems big enough.